


A Better Place

by mer_maider



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Abusive Parents, All I Need, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Lotura - Freeform, Madness, Pre Season 7, Songfic, Within Temptation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 10:38:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15532419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mer_maider/pseuds/mer_maider
Summary: Allura, devastated after abandoning Lotor and leaving him to suffer in madness, realizes that she must retrieve her prince and cleanse him of dark quintessence. She must fight to reclaim him, to grab hold of his better side that she helped bury in possession and loneliness. But her mad and deadly opponent is Lotor himself, and he does not forgive her.





	A Better Place

**Author's Note:**

> The song featured for this fic is All I Need by Within Temptation, and it to be read from Lotor's perspective. As always in songfics, the lyrics are in italics. I might've altered the effects of overexposure to quintessence a bit, I'm not really sure. But you know... fan fiction. Enjoy.

_I’m dying to catch my breath._

It was silent here in the rift.

How could she not have known? How could she not have heard it before, the few times she’d entered it, even for a moment? Piloting through it before, feeling the quintessence inside her, had consumed her thoughts, and it had been great enough not to experience what was truly happening around her. And the last time, the worst time, she’d been in battle. She’d been in Voltron and had thought of nothing save for keeping her team alive. A battle that never should have happened. So many wrongs in so little time.

And Allura discovered she could not survive with the way things were. She had to find him, she had to heal him.

She had to bring Lotor home because she could not continue this fight without him.

_Oh, why don’t I ever learn?_

She flew the pod, deciding to leave Blue with the paladins. They’d all come to the decision to retrieve him when they discussed it with Shiro. They’d acted foolishly, and their greatest ally, the Galra Empire, was no ally at all without its Emperor. And, after everything had calmed down and they were alone, Shiro took one look at her and told her that she was heartbroken. That they couldn’t leave it like this. That she would never recover from this if she didn’t try to mend her broken heart in the only way that would do it, and that was bringing Lotor back. Shiro said she was in love with the prince, and hearing the words made her know them to be true.

“How do you know that?” she’d asked anyway before she would prepare the pod for travel.

Shiro had given her a soft rueful smile and had gently taken her hand. “I know what it feels like to leave someone behind. I don’t want you to feel what I felt.” And in a more commanding tone as Voltron’s leader once again, he added, “You need to go get him.”

So she was going to get him, and the silence of the rift was crushing.

Did time work differently here? She still didn’t know for certain. How long had it been for Lotor, to linger in this silent madness all alone? The guilt she felt squeezed at her, almost brought tears to her eyes as she spotted the Sincline ship, just drifting in space like a corpse. And the drive she felt to try to save him clashed with that guilt.

“I’m coming,” she whispered to the floating ship. “Hold on.”

Allura anchored the pod to the monster ship, used her jets to find the air hatch and let herself in. Nothing was stopping her, no alarms, no commands. No screams from the madman her sensors told her was still inside. She stabilized the pressure, waited for the oxygen. Listened.

More silence. Just a forsaken ship and the ugly color of grey outside of the windows taunting her for her horrible choice to leave him.

“Lotor,” she called out, and even braced for an attack. The prince was a swift fighter, especially with a sword. There was no answer, no ambush, so Allura removed her helmet, brushed hair out of her eyes. In her hasty decision to leave right then and there, she’d barely had time to adjust her locks. They were barely hanging on inside the bun. She checked her sensors again, saw that one lifeform blinking. He was still in the cockpit.

She didn’t know what she would find when she reached it, but at least he was still alive.

_I’ve lost all my trust, though I’ve surely tried to turn it around._

She made her way through the ship at a jog, not stopping to admire the intricate, beautiful design she helped create. Some wires sparked and some lights blinked red with some warning, but she continued on until she reached her destination. She had to be strong now, she told herself as she spotted the doors, as she used her hands to pry them open. She had to be strong and she had to be loving, understanding. And just… there to hear him. She made the plan in a half of a tick, got the doors opened, ignored that threatening grey of the rift all around.

Her plan, her drive, did not prepare her for the state of him.

Lotor didn’t sit in the pilot’s seat, still screaming at her. Maybe even _for_ her on some level inside him. At some point he’d moved and looked nothing like the poised prince who’d once been one step ahead of them at every turn. He was weak, delirious, corrupted.

Lost and all alone.

Allura hated herself and dropped her helmet.

“Lotor,” she sadly whispered out to him.

He sat on the floor, almost huddled against the consoles as if to hide, to blend, to sink into nothing. The pieces of his armor were scattered around the room, some flung to the other side and damaged from the impact. He wore only his black flight suit now, one arm ripped off completely and other areas of the fabric slashed here and there, and in those slashes were strips of red, of blood from cuts made deep into his skin. His tips of his claws on both hands seemed to be dipped in blood too, and Allura realized that he must’ve hurt himself in some kind of crazed desperation. Whether they were made in haste to remove his armor or for another purpose entirely… she couldn’t know. Her wide, troubled eyes moved up to his face. The part that further damaged her already broken heart.

His long arms held himself, probably trying to stop the ongoing tremble rocking through his entire body. His hair was completely mussed, tangled and frazzled, and some areas looked cut, as if he’d cut random locks out of his face, or severed them with his claws. And his eyes, Allura saw, his eyes were devastating. His blue pupils were so tiny, shuddering constantly as if in constant panic. He was trying to focus on the floor, but he couldn’t seem to manage it. Just trying to stop the shakes, trying to hide, trying to hold on.

Suffering, she realized, frowning deeply as her chin trembled. He was suffering in this hell all by himself. And it was all her fault.

“Lotor,” she said again, trying to command her voice. Trying not to break too at the sight of him. “Prince Lotor.”

_Can you still see the heart of me?_

He heard her voice and gripped himself tighter. Those wide, panicked eyes moved in her direction, just a slow turn of his head, one that would’ve been terrifying if she wasn’t so devastated and determined to get him back. He simply stared at her for a few ticks, never blinking as he took her in. And it looked as if the suffering lessened for only a quick moment. For that one, fleeting tick of time, he calmed.

_All my agony fades away when you hold me in your embrace._

“There you are again,” his weak voice eased out, and she could hear those trembles racking his body. “You’re not real. You aren’t here. Please leave me alone.”

Allura drew her brows together. Had he been seeing illusions while trapped? “Lotor, it’s me, it’s Allura. I’ve come for you.”

_Don’t tear me down for all I need._

“Allura,” he repeated, and the way he said her name, like the thought of her had once been a great dream, destroyed her. He even tilted his head back as if in bliss he was trying to force. “Allura would not come back for one such as me. A monster. That’s what she called me. A monster dying in this monstrous ship.” 

_Make my heart a better place._

She needed control, she needed strength. She needed every ounce of both to get through this. “I’m really here. We’re leaving this ship. I’m going to approach you,” she told him gently, taking one small step to see if he’d react. He didn’t, so she went closer, kneeling next to him. “You’re bleeding.”

Lotor looked down at one of his claws, and the blood crusting on the tips of them. “You’ve come to finish me off.”

_Give me something I can believe._

“No,” she breathed, shaking her head. “I need to bandage these cuts for now. Lotor, your hair,” Allura said sadly, hovering her hand over a mangled section near his shoulder. “Did you do this to yourself?”

“You did this to me,” he said softly, exhausted eyes closed. Almost ignoring her, probably because he still didn’t believe she was really there. “A phantom of the rift, come to hurt me again. I can only take so much for today, I’m afraid.”

_Don’t tear me down._

“Lotor,” she said again, hardening her voice. Trying to snap him out of it. “I’m really here. I’m going to bandage you up and then we’re getting off this ship. I need to retrieve your armor and your helmet. Can you walk?”

_You’ve opened a door now._

It was a mistake, she realized, to touch his bare shoulder, even as brief as it was. Once again she was too quick with him, jumping ahead. Once again she didn’t give him time.

His head snapped up, eyes right on hers, body tense and stiff, and now breathing horribly ragged. Not a dream, not an illusion. Not a nightmare. She was here.

“Allura,” he whispered.

_Don’t let it close._

She stared into his eyes, and so close she could see the Galra yellow sclera had changed, or had been infected by the quintessence. The eyes she knew seemed to be warring with a slight purple glow, not knowing whether they should stay the same, or give into corruption completely. Eyes that were becoming Zarkon’s, she saw. But the son of Zarkon was still, deep down inside, fighting his worst fear. Or trying to, always trying.

He would not be alone in that fight. She was here to carry him through it.

“We’re leaving, Lotor. Let me help you get dressed, I have a pod. Oh, your face,” she murmured, reaching out to the cut slashed through an eyebrow.

Allura wasn’t prepared for the great shove he gave her, causing her to tumble back and away from him. She braced for a fight, but saw him pressing himself against the consoles. And a deadly expression on his weathered and bleeding face, in those manic eyes that were now glowing just a bit brighter with quintessence that was killing him slowly.

“I will not be going _anywhere_ with you,” he hissed at her, lifting a bloody claw and pointing. “You’re the monster. You’re the dangerous lunatic, and the great mistake. _You_ are just like Zarkon.”

_I’m here on the edge again._

“Lotor, please,” she begged, lifting her hands to convince him she wasn’t a threat. “I’m here to help you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything.”

He suddenly barked out a laugh, then held his sides with a slight grimace. Something was hurting deep within. Perhaps his organs were shutting down. “And why,” he rasped out, his head lowering and some strands of white hair not cut falling in front of his face, “should I listen to you? Why should I believe you? You left me here to rot after condemning me with the accusations of a strange girl who spoke to you for all of two ticks. You did not let me speak, you hardly gave me a chance. _You_ betrayed _me_. Each and every one of you.”

She froze. Allura didn’t know how to respond, but found her mouth opening anyway to say something she shouldn’t have. “I… must admit I was too quick to—”

“Don’t,” he interrupted, and she’d never heard such a tone from him. Even after their battles of the past, she’d never heard his voice sound so full of dark threat. “You have made your choice, O _generous_ Princess Allura of _dead_ Altea. A true Altean,” he whispered, closing his eyes again and leaning his cheek against the ship wearily. Lotor then let out a very soft breathless laugh. “I have never been so tired, in ten-thousand years…”

“Then let me bring you to a bed,” she gently pleaded, sitting on her knees now and trying to inch closer to him. Her hair was steadily becoming looser inside the unraveling bun. “You can sleep for as long as you like. I will watch over you.”

“I don’t trust you.”

It hurt. Ancients, it hurt. And she had no right to feel that pain. “I beg for your forgiveness, Lotor. I… I could do nothing to save Altea from destruction. And when I learned about the colony, I could feel nothing but despair. It was like losing my home all over again, and I couldn’t get past it. Not until you were gone. Not until I realized… what you meant to me. And what I did to you.”

He was quiet again. Thinking, aching, dying. Maybe all three. “Poor Allura,” he muttered, softer this time than when he’d been fighting Voltron and soaking up quintessence. “You only learn with great cost. Like a child. This is what happens when you grow up. You regret, and sometimes there is _no_ _way_ to fix it.”

_I wish I could let it go._

“But I can,” she whispered to him, looking at his eyes even as he looked away. Blood was dripping now in big drops around him. She had to move faster. “I _can_ , Lotor. And I will. Please let me. I’m not leaving without you.”

He took a breath, and it came out shakily. Those glowing but still shadowed eyes moved to a nearby screen that flashed with a daunting message. “Oxygen is depleting,” he said, smiling some. A thankful smile. “I can feel it.”

She shook her head with determination. “I won’t let you die here.”

“You have already betrayed me, defeated me, and abandoned me. You will absolutely let me die here.”

She wasn’t getting through to him. Allura felt the failure that was incredibly possible if she couldn’t somehow reach out to him, just enough to heal, to mend, to start over. She couldn’t heal him if she couldn’t touch him, and she couldn’t touch him because she’d shattered their connection, their bond. Their friendship that had been more than a friendship. He didn’t trust her, she reminded herself. Begging for forgiveness was getting her nowhere when she had hardly any time left. She didn’t deserve it from him. Trying to coddle him wasn’t working either, even in his present state.

So she would have to try something else, something he’d never known. She would have to give him the truth, no matter the cost.

“Lotor,” she began softly, giving up her guard, giving him her strength. She would give him everything. “Stop.”

Her voice was shaky and her heart ripped to ribbons. Her chin trembled and her eyes filled, though she would not let tears fall now. If alchemy was about equal value, then she would give to him what he’d tried to give to her.

“We’re meant to be together,” she whispered, closing her eyes for a quick moment. When she opened them again, she saw him twitch just a bit from familiarity. The intense emotion she felt now was what she should’ve felt before, but she’d foolishly rejected it.

“My feelings for you are true.” No right, she had no right to say these words to him. But there was nothing left. Nothing but the truth, and an exchange. “And I know you have feelings for me as well.”

His words, his own words, given back to him unfairly. Of course it was unfair, Allura knew. Of course she was horrible for thinking they would matter now. But how else would she save him? What more could she do? He was bleeding, dying, withering away in madness.

“I know because you told me,” she said.

She would do _anything_ to save him.

_I know that I’m only one step away from turning around._

Allura knew there was a possibility he would react badly to her words. And she was right.

“You _bitch_ ,” he snarled, his head whipping in her direction, his eyes glowing madly. He even turned to face her, his bloody claws brandished and his fangs gnashing together. “Those are the words you give me? My very own? _Now_ you wish to hear them? When I am like this…” He stopped in rage, settled in upsetting defeat. But he quickly replaced it with more pulsing fury. “You’ve come to torture me.”

“No, Lotor,” she replied desperately.

“Yes!” He violently shuddered, his eyes briefly rolling back into his head before he slumped and gasped for breath. The more rage he felt, the more the corrupting quintessence took hold of him, and the more his mind wandered away from her. His heart too. “But I won’t- I won’t let you,” he panted out, putting his hands on the floor, his arms trembling as he tried to lift himself. “I will torture _you_ now, and show you how it feels.”

He vaulted with surprising speed and pounced on her, and Allura was not prepared after seeing him so weak. She cried out and flew back as his weight crushed her to the floor, pinning her body. Her hair unlatched completely from its hold, spreading around her like soft white snow, while Lotor’s own was cut and mussed around his sunken, fatigued face. His claws gripped her arms as he pressed her harder into the floor, tightening as she struggled, and one of his knees was digging into her thigh.

Looking up at him with slight panic, Allura realized she could barely see his yellow sclera in his eyes or the tiny shuddering blue of his pupils anymore.

There was only rage, heartbreak, and quintessence.

“I don’t love you anymore,” he growled down at her.

_Can you still see the heart of me?_

She tried to move, but he was too heavy. She didn’t want to hurt him, to fling him off and risk giving him more damage, but if he went to cause her more harm, she would have no choice. And with his cruel statement, her own anger was replacing her fear. “That’s not true,” she argued, glaring up at him. “You’re still _lying_ , Lotor.”

“Who would ever love a spoiled, emotional, _treacherous_ Princess of a dead world?”

“You would!” she shouted at him, holding his menacing glowing gaze. She would not cower now when he needed her most. “You love me. And I love you too.”

His glower dropped, his fangs unclenching, mouth hanging slightly open. And for a moment, something so quick, she could see the blue in those eyes again. The relief she felt, even in its quickness, fueled her, helped her go on in a situation almost impossible. She had to find him in the dark, even as it took him to the frightening shadows again.

_All my agony fades away…_

“You are such a fool,” he whispered, his eyes wide and unblinking. “Now I can destroy you. Bring me back with you, and I will twist your love into a weapon and sharpen it. And use it to shred your heart to pieces. How best can I torture you, Allura?” he asked her, pressing against her harder, trying to pierce her armor with his claws around her arms. “I know how I will do it. I know how to punish the Blue Lion’s paladin for the rest of her days. I will mate with you,” he told her darkly, his mouth lifting into an eager smirk.

She couldn’t panic and she absolutely couldn’t flinch at his words. It’s not him, Allura told herself for strength even as Lotor moved her arms above her head, holding both wrists in a tight grip and keeping her healing touch away. This wasn’t her prince, it was the quintessence poisoning him. And it seemed to be learning the more she battled for him. It must be making him stronger as well.

… _when you hold me in your embrace._

“Lotor,” she said firmly.

“We will mate right here, right in the rift. I will give you a son. If I am just like Zarkon, then why don’t I become my father entirely and raise our child as I was raised, yes? But first we have to make him. I will make it pleasurable for you _just_ _this_ _once_.”

Allura wouldn’t show fear, but when he used his body to shove her legs apart so he could settle between them, it made her breath hitch. She swallowed, but reminded herself there was no way. There was no way he could exert as much energy as it would take to act out his threat that came only from overexposure. He was far too weak and had lost too much blood and could never finish. Not that she would allow him to in another reality where he would take her by force. He simply couldn’t, and he wouldn’t. So she humored this breakdown because something was telling her she should.

_Don’t tear me down for all I need._

“Let us continue this _generational_ _curse_ and create another hybrid weakling.” His voice, once so dignified and confident and only moments ago exhausted and delirious, was now hard and cruel. One hand gripped both her wrists in an unnatural strength fueled by dark energy. The sharp tips of his claws of the other drifted through the white waves of her hair spread around her. “That’s what I will call him. A harsh name I know well. I will be distant. I will only teach him of the brutality of the Galra, and still he will never please me when he does it all. I will keep you from him, and look down at him with a resentful, disappointed gaze. He will not know love. He will only know blood and war and darkness. It will destroy you, won’t it, Allura? It will rip you into bloody chunks of meat to watch me _hate_ our own son.”

Something was happening, she saw, allowing him to almost tenderly brush his claws through her hair since the act seemed to be calming to him. Something was happening inside him, she could see it in his eyes. His voice dropped from cruel to softly bitter. Allura couldn’t help but picture a little boy in her mind placed there by Lotor’s words, but in his, she wondered if it was not a nameless child not yet conceived. Steading her breathing underneath him, she kept quiet.

He continued on, his eyes intently watching the back and forth motion of his hand in her hair, and his head far, far away in the past.

_Make my heart a better place._

“He will try to win my affections. It’s a natural thing, something I will corrupt with time. I won’t teach him what it means to be a man, Galra or Altean. It will take him _years_ to figure out who he wants to be, because he’s so torn, so confused. I will not be there to help him, to take his hand and be a guide. I will constantly tell him he is unfit, that he is _weak_ just like his Altean mother, that he is no son of mine. He will forever be lost. And lonely…” Lotor’s voice drowned out then, his eyes drifting away to nothing, his hand shaking in her hair. Allura couldn’t even hear him breathing.

She waited, allowing him to picture the boy who was not his own son, but Lotor himself.

_Give me something I can believe._

“A lonely little boy… who will become a lonely man belonging to no one,” he whispered.

Allura instantly sat up when he suddenly crawled back from her. She tried to grab him, to end his pain, but he was out of reach. Shaking now, she saw, and his eyes slowly filling with tears. It broke her heart and made the tears in her own eyes finally spill over.

_Don’t tear it down, what’s left of me._

“Lotor,” she murmured.

“My darkest shame,” he told her as if she needed to know. As if the title had claimed him forever. “That’s what he is. That’s what he will always be. Everyone’s darkest shame, everyone’s great regret. Even yours.”

_Make my heart a better place._

“No,” she snapped, covering her mouth when Lotor turned away some, hands going into his hair to grip it in agony. She couldn’t know, she thought as his words sliced into her. She couldn’t have known the abuse he’d endured even as a prince to the Galra. She’d been given all love when Lotor had lived with none. Only loneliness, neglect, and a terrible confusion. The state of him was killing her. Was this how romantic love would always feel? “You’re not alone anymore. I’m with you. I swear on the Ancients, Lotor, I will never leave your side again.”

_I tried many times but nothing was real._

“I don’t believe you,” he sobbed, tears dripping down his face like the blood on his skin. “You were my redemption, Allura. You were my light, my soul. And now I’m trapped in the dark, and all I feel is _quintessence_.”

“Let me take it from you,” she insisted.

“No!” Lotor swiped at her when she came closer, tears still falling from their eyes, but hers were also hard, determined, driven. She would fight his agony. “I’m dead without it. Stop!” He tried to scoot away from her, but she persisted on. He could hurt her if he needed to, but she would get to him. He growled at her and hit the back of the console when there was no more room for him to escape. “Quintessence is my new love, Allura. It’s my light and my soul. Quintessence is _life_!”

_Make it fade away._

Like a weak, terrified creature still trying to defend itself, Lotor glared up at her, almost hissing, ready to fight although he was not truly able to because now _she_ had the upper hand as hopelessness momentarily took over madness. With her brows furrowed and her mouth firmly set, Allura called to the energy inside her. She felt the tingle in her hands, felt it pulse to life. She looked deeply into the glowing purple of his eyes that were not his own, and spoke directly to the dark.

“You cannot have him,” she declared, and reached out to grab his face.

He cried out from the sudden heat, the intense, blazing fire shooting into his face and coursing through his veins like sizzling blood. Allura’s hands illuminated with bright blue energy, creeping up to her elbows as she held on, gripping him tightly as the dark quintessence inside him tried its best to yank its host away from her healing touch. She felt the heat too, the corruption, the infection, fighting her now and harming him further in the process. Something wasn’t right; it wasn’t the same as when she’d carried Shiro or when she’d healed Lance. Lotor was shuddering violently, his eyes glowing brighter and rolling back again as the dark fought for power, taking his last breath if it had to.

The quintessence wanted him, and it wasn’t letting him go. It knew him, since before he’d been born. A child of the rift.

_Don’t break me down._

With a great burst of energy between them in the form of a lightning bolt and a blow she couldn’t block, Allura lost her grip and was pushed away from him, her glowing hands now sparking with corruption before fizzing out. With worry settling in her stomach, she found Lotor on his back, his chest gasping for breath and the purple glow almost seeping from his eyes like thick tears.  

His Altean markings were glowing as well, the color now slowly cutting down his cheeks. Collapsing from their original shape.

Just like his mother’s.

“No!” she shouted, rushing to him and pulling him up by the chest of his flight suit. “Stay with me.”

“Just kill me, Allura,” he begged, arms limp at his sides, no more strength left. She’d brought some of him back, but only the part of him that was hopeless and alone. The quintessence was winning. “ _Please_. Use the laser,” he told her, weakly lifting an arm to point in some direction. “Put it to my head and pull the trigger. End the madness, end the misery. I forgive you,” he sighed, staring into her eyes as his markings bled into his face. “Please, do this for me. I love you, Allura. I _love_ you. I can’t bear to hurt you again. You’re crying…”

_I want to believe that this is for real._

“I don’t leave this ship without you. This will hurt you, Lotor. I need you to fight it.”

“This is how they died,” he told her sadly, his wild eyes focused only on her own as he ignored her demands. “Zarkon and Honerva. Before the war, before the tyrant and the witch. I see it, I can see it, Allura. They were dead and they were holding each other. That won’t be us, I won’t allow it. I can’t watch you die. You need to go.”

“I will _not_ leave you,” she said again. Again and again and again if she had to. “And we are _not_ Zarkon and Honerva.”

_Save me from my fear._

It was taking him again. Whatever little progress she’d made, it was being undone. His eyes widened, eased into a deadly glare.

“I wish I didn’t feel for you anymore,” he hissed at her. “Die here, _witch_.”

Allura shook her head, yanked him up. “Enough,” she breathed, then grabbed his face again.

_Don’t tear me down._

Stronger this time, stronger was its hold as it prepared to fight her again. She reached deep inside him, felt the infection, the rot that was ruining him and using him for the dark. But the blue energy she pushed into him, forced through, would be like soothing waters to heal and wash away all that tortured him. Allura gripped him, felt the push but only pushed back as her long hair billowed behind her. Her markings started to glow on her face, and she could feel the others along the rest of her body shine as well. The mark of the chosen, he’d once called it.

Allura chose him, and would keep him forever.

_Don’t tear me down for all I need._

Lotor suffered as his body was purged, his claws gripping her forearms as he moaned in pain and shook. He panted, gasped, and deep inside him, somewhere lost where the better part of him was trapped, he fought to reach the light he could now see. He could hear her voice, he could see those pink and blue eyes that flashed like gems, and he could feel her pull. An unshakable grip he’d never felt before, and one that finally reached for him instead of pushing him away. The bleeding marks on his face burned into his skull, illuminating along with hers. He was being dragged into hell but one hand reached for him, one that had been too far away before. A beautiful hand waiting for him to grasp so they could heal him together.

Deep in the dark, Lotor fought through the fire and seized it.

A burst of blue, a deep rumble through the ship, more silence. A deadly stillness that even had the screens going black until blinking bright again.

And with his face still in her hands… Lotor gasped back to life.

_Make my heart a better place._

“Allura!” he breathed, grabbing at her arms, her shoulders, her neck. A touch that somehow felt like a reunion.

She gave him a big and bright smile, allowed him to catch his breath and breathe in the little oxygen they had left that somehow felt fresh and clean now. It was him, she saw, looking him over, looking into his eyes of yellow blue once again, dark energy gone. “You’re free,” she told him softly, pulling him close and hugging him against her. His arms instantly wrapped around her and held tight.

“Allura,” he said again into her hair, burying his face in her neck. “I’m so sorry. I let it take me. The way I acted—”

_Don’t tear me down for all I need._

She shushed him, pulling him back and brushing some cut locks of hair out of his shiny eyes. “I have so much more to apologize for. I don’t even know where to begin.” But they would save that for later. Taking another moment from their dwindling time left in the Sincline, she studied his face, brushed her fingers along his cheek. “Your markings. I can see them.”

His fingertips followed hers. He was still shaking, but only slightly now. “The alchemy…”

“No,” she said with a shake of her head. “No, they aren’t even glowing. They’re right there, right on your face, and intact. Like mine.”

_Make my heart a better place._

Lotor leaned back some to glance down at himself. In the places where his flight suit was shredded, he could see bits of more markings he knew to be on a full blood Altean. They were no longer hidden. A true Altean, he thought. His better half shining bright, because of her.

Flashes now, flashes of warning with oxygen so low. “We need to leave,” she said. “I need to find you a new suit. I have water for you on the pod.”

“Allura.” Again her name. Always her name like a sweet song. He grasped her hands in his almost desperately. “You must know. You must know that it was real. What I felt for you, the whole time. It was real.”

_Give me something I can believe._

Not an illusion, not a manipulation. Not a perk while he attempted to gain the trust of her team. The raw state of him now and the worry in his eyes and the cleansing of him told her that he had not planned to fall for her. And she had done everything to keep him at bay. To see him as a great ally for the Coalition and nothing more than a Galra prince and partner in Altean alchemy. Her thumb reached out to brush over the lightning shaped mark of her people on his face.

“Yes it was,” she answered, and the soft smile he gave her told her that it still was and always would be.

“My brave paladin,” he murmured sweetly.

Perhaps they were truly meant to be together. Perhaps it was set long ago when their fathers fought side by side, when Voltron would link them together forever. Allura was certain that even if their home worlds had not been destroyed and everything had remained peaceful, the two of them would still be near, still connected.

Destiny, she decided. That’s what it was.

Lotor’s tired eyes drifted down to her lips when he realized she was leaning into him. “Allura,” he muttered, gently taking her wrist and turning his face away from her kiss. “I’m not… No. Not while I’m like this.”

The only thing that had changed on him was his frantic eyes and unstable, infected mind. He was still wounded and bleeding, still weak and drained, still so utterly exhausted that Allura didn’t know how she would manage to get him to the pod. The shadows under his eyes were almost black and he still slightly trembled from the purging. But he still gave her that knock into her chest. He still made her eyes linger a tick too long than was proper. And he still, after everything they’d been through so very recently, made her feel like she was home on Altea again. Allura turned his face back towards hers, gave him a beautiful, reassuring smile that drew him immediately when he reached out to run a hand down her fallen hair.

She leaned into him again, slower this time if he were to stop her, and she would then give him his space. He was silent now, lost in her eyes and the way her lips were puckering out for his. With a slight tilt of her head and a hovering over his mouth, finally she kissed him.

Home, she thought again, her hands caressing his face. Here was her home. Altea right in her grasp in the form of a Galra prince.

_Don’t tear it down, what’s left of me._

He practically sank into her, his arm wrapping around her waist to pull her closer for the warmth that made the trembles lessen. The other caught her hips, and it was surprising for them both when his mouth suddenly opened against her for something more, something wetter, something deeper. She gave it to him, hands on his neck now when a sweet desperation started to increase.

As they kissed, their markings started to glow and give light to the ship.

Lotor pulled back again, sighing out a big breath and swaying a little in her arms. Allura left him only to find him something more suitable to wear into space than a tattered slight suit. She bandaged what she could, strapped his armor on, secured both of their helmets as the screens told them there was no more air to breathe. She helped him up, wrapped an arm around his waist as his own settled over her shoulders.

_Make my heart a better place._

“I’ve got you,” she told him as they made their way to the pod.

Lotor glanced down at her. He’d never heard those words before. Always so alone; beaten, chased, mocked, and exiled for his half-blood in the brutal court of the Galra. Only one person had ever returned for him. His Altean princess.

_Make my heart a better place._

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> [My Tumblr](http://mermaider00.tumblr.com/)
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> Come talk Voltron and Lotura with me, or just say hi. Comments are appreciated :)


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